Single adults--and there are many of you out there--please leave your wives or husbands for the sake of the kingdom! "But I don't have a husband/wife!" you reply.
Exactly. All the more reason to get a divorce.
Divorce yourself of the imaginary ideal partner you have in mind. Men, divorce that fictitious woman with the perfect body (which will stay perfect your whole life) and who would also go with you to the ends of the earth. Ladies, divorce that "Jim Elliot" of your half-sanctified, half-Hollywoodized fantasies. Divorce yourself of the idea that you just might find the right person if you switch singles groups (again) or go to another mega-conference or get another degree or spend another few hours making good impressions on Facebook. Jesus said, "There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God's sake, who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting."
How can you "leave" a spouse you do not have? Simply by rejecting the idea that you have to have one. You don't, you know. And if you are currently single, make no mistake: it is God's will for you to be single. A desire to be married is natural, but it is no proof that God wants you to be. "My God shall supply all your need ..." (Phil. 4:19). If you are not yet married, then it is not yet your need, however you may be obsessing over it. If it ever does become a need for you, a romance will develop so clearly and biblically that it seemed the Red Sea had parted before your eyes ... and all without your maneuvers and manipulations and jockeyings-for-position and doing the stuff of junior high school.
Seriously now, is marriage an idol in your life? Is singleness an embarrassment to you? A source of worry? A roadblock between you and the mission field?
Then just get a divorce and marry yourself to missions.
"He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me" (Matthew 10:37-38).
I'm not saying single missions is easy. I did it for six years. It was lonely, excruciatingly so at times. But by immersing yourself in the work of the ministry and caring exclusively for the things of the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:32), you will have little time for pity parties. "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it" (Matthew 10:39).
And maybe, just maybe, God will do for you what He has done for so many others: by divorcing this imaginary beauty queen who will follow you to the mission field--or this godly hero man who will take you there--you may just find the mate God really has for you ...
She may be more beautiful than you had ever imagined, both inside and out. He may be wiser and more genuine than you had ever thought possible. It happened for me. It happened for many of my friends, both for young men and young ladies.
It also has NOT happened to many of my friends, but they are thriving anyway! Why? Because ...
... the mate God may have for you may turn out to be a lifetime of undistracted single service to the Lord, gathering up "manifold more" houses, parents, brethren, wives, and children in this present time than the figments you so recklessly abandoned before it was too late.
8 responses:
I am married, but what you say still speaks to about being single-minded for Christ. Thanks Dave.
Wow! Fantastic!
How liberating for those who heed your good advice!!
God bless you!
From the single leader of a singles' department you have hit the nail on the head!
Your experience makes this challenge all the more poignant and direct.
Thanks again for another insightful post!
Thanks for your post. It was an encouragement. We are saved to serve...not look for a mate and then serve:)
From someone coming out of a sudden and difficult breakup, thank you for the reminder that it's okay (good even) to be single right now.
I am Single and I think you should do what you can before your married once your married you have responiblitys....like making brakefast for two, cleaning for two, all this other stuff so I say "Be Free" while you can your not going to be single FOREVER.
Thanks
For me, this leaves open an answer to the question why the Lord would instill a desire in me to be married and not fulfill it. If He wants me to remain single or doesn't have a suitable husband for me, why is He not taking away this strong desire?
I struggled with the same question so I am very sensitive to your question. But instead of being some kind of an "answer man," I would simply ask you to search the Bible and discover anyone who had strong desires for things or situations which were not fulfilled? How did God supply? How did the people change and grow? How were they ultimately satisfied, content and quiet-hearted without receiving the thing they desired so much? And, may I encourage you to really seek the "what now?" question as much as the "why?" question. Commented with prayer.
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